Behavioral Breakthrough

Yesterday I took Quincy to childrens story time at the library, as I always do. After story time, Quincy headed straight for the game box and grabbed the little tin of dominoes, as she frequently does. She brought them over to the table and began playing - things were going well. Then a little girl spotted the dominoes, and came over to take a closer look. I began to feel tense. I saw her watching with interest, inching closer and closer. My palms got sweaty. Eventually she took a seat at the table, and began talking about the little rectangles. My heart started pouding. I began to visualize what was about to happen. The little girl would make a big deal of trying to get some dominoes, and Quincy would make a bigger deal of not sharing the dominoes - a deal involving calling names, scowls, and general bad behavior. I knew how it would play out. We've been working on sharing skills for a long time now, but as with any child, it's been a hard concept to grasp. I dread these kinds of situations, because I am never quite sure how to handle them, and I always end up feeling like I did a bad job. Usually I force Quincy to share, kicking and screaming the whole time, and then think to myself - 'I was just nicer and fairer to this other kid, what about my own kid?' What to do....Quincy did have the dominoes first, and she was playing nicely by herself. As I was frantically trying to compose a battle plan in my mind, Quincy grabbed a handful of the dominoes and said "Here mom, hand these to her." I nearly fell out of my little toddler-sized chair. In a total state of shock I passed over the dominoes. When the girl asked for a few more, Quincy kindly obliged. Wow. I'm still bursting with pride for her.

As I haved started along this path of motherhood, I have been struck by the little "nobody told me" moments. Nobody told me that I would cry the day Quincy outgrew her "coming home" outfit. Nobody told me how much I'd miss the 'just the two of us' closeness I had with her, once another baby came along. Nobody told me (or more likely I didn't believe them) how hard it is to teach about sharing. Nobody told me what a happy day it would be when I would realized that the concept was finally grasped.

I know there will probably be more sharing fights, on days when she's just not in the mood - but for now, I'm just so happy to know that she'll do it sometimes. Way to go Q!

Movie Game and Pathetic Confession

Jayne got the last movie line - Failure to Launch. Good job Jane - I thought it might be you who got that one.

Here's something new:
"Ma, Dad is so stubborn, what he says goes 'the man is the head of the house.'"

"Let me tell you something, the man is the head, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants."

So here's my pathetic confession. The reason why I slacked on the movie game lately. Israel and I splurged with our tax refund and bought a Wii. This was a big thing for us - Israel came from a home that didn't have TV, and my family had TV but no video games. Yes, we are both pretty big rebels. Anyway, I got hooked on the game Pirates of the Carribbean. So hooked, that yesterday I conquered the whole game. At first I would play at night after the kids had gone to bed, but it made me so I couldn't sleep - I was thinking about fighting and hearing the music in my head all night. So then I started playing while they were napping in the afternoon. A pretty big waste of time - but then again it's good to have fun, right? Anyway, yesterday afternoon was the big day, I conquered the game. So now I'm back to blogging.

Max, the Bulldog

This morning I was accused of having "alot of pictures of Quincy, but not enough of Max" on my blog. I guess it's true, there's a reason for that. Up until now, most pictures of Max have been pretty much all the same - he's either sitting in his highchair - smiling, sitting in his car seat - smiling, laying on the ground - smiling, or sitting on the floor - smiling. He hasn't really "done" much. That's all beginning to change now - Max started crawling last week. He's the cutest little inch-worm I've ever seen. So here's a few video's of him - I need to start taking more picture, but ever since I learned how to take video's on my camera I've been doing tons of video's . Anyway, I love the way his hands kind of point inward while he crawls - I think he looks like a little English Bulldog.

He also has started eating some different foods - he loves the baby toast. I can only let him have it right before his bath because he makes a giant mess.

How I Became a Chick-Flick Connoisseur

Warning to all readers! This is a horribly written post. There are all kinds of digressions, and insertions of information not really relavent to what I'm trying to say. That's my life.

My youngest sister, Laura, she flatters me. She calls my occasional little blog essays "columns," and she's been asking for a new one lateley - nearly everytime I speak to her, which is nearly every day. "Is there a new column yet?" she says. I told her that I need some kind of inspiration - I don't just randomly sit down and start writing. Anyway, I think I have something that will satisfy her for a few days. This is the story of how I became a chick-flick connoisseur.


It all began in the "nappy-appy", as Laura and I like to call it. When Israel and I found out that I was pregnant with Quincy, we moved out of our awesome condo on a hill with a view of the Great Salt Lake, and into the cheapest apartment we could rent - we were terrified of how we were going to make it financially. I had been earning more than half of our income, and we knew that I would quit my job once the baby came. Now that I think of it, that first baby really was a leap of faith - we really didn't know how we would survive. Anyway - the nappy appy. It was a little 2 bedroom place. One living room wall was cinder-block painted white, the other three sides were dark panel fake wood. The carpet was a rough, glorified indoor-outdoor type of thing. Because the washer and dryer were in the kitchen, there was no room for a table...anywhere. We ate on the futon and used the coffee table as dinner table. The afternoon that we moved into that apartment I just sat down and cried. The worst part of the nappy appy - spiders. Big, brown, fast ones. I'm sure they were probably one of those poison kinds - brown recluse or something, but I never tried that hard to find out because I didn't want to know. It seems like I had to take care of at least one of those everyday. I hated it.



We moved into this apartment in August, and Quincy came in November. She was the most high-strung baby. She would not sleep unless I was holding her, so as you can imagine I spent alot of time rocking her in the recliner. Laura was in Jr. High at the time, and the nappy appy was just a few blocks from her home - so every day after school she came up to spend the afternoon. She was my salvation that year. I was this new mom, with a baby that didn't sleep at night, and wouldn't be put down during the day. I was trying to finish my degree - taking classes online and stressed about them. I had the worst apartment ever. I was trying to adjust to being a stay at home mom - and found it difficult. I was always so glad when school got out and I knew I would see Laura. She had alot of faith in me back then. I helped her with her math, and back then she believed that I was good at it - not so much anymore. Same with English - she doesn't know how someone with a degree in English could not know the difference between a pronoun, adverb, preposition, etc. Come on - the only grown ups who know that stuff are the ones who have to teach it.....right??? At least she still thinks I can write. Anyway, we'd work on her school stuff, feed Quincy ice cream and red vines, sometimes take a drive to our favourite conveniance store - VIP, for a bevy, and then spend the rest of the afternoon watching movies. It started with Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. How we adored Vivi, I think we have watched that together at least 20 times. The phenomenon just expanded from there - if there's a boring afternoon, then there's sure to be a movie - and I have lots of boring afternoons. We specialize in southern chick-flicks, and sometimes our conversations are made up entirely of quoted movie lines. I miss Laura. She's got a car and a job now, so she's not dropping by after school anymore. Theres also the little fact that she lives a thousand miles away. When I visit we always try to schedule at least one movie afternoon - but she's right, I rarely sit through the whole thing now - these kiddos of mine, they make that hard.



I love you Laura - those were good days!

She likes to Move It, Move It

I don't know how Quincy knows this song, the only time I hear it is at the gym. Anyway, somehow she knows it, and she knows how to move it. Yea - the video is sideways - but it's worth the neckache. Sometimes the only reason I believe this girl is related to me or her father is because I was there when she came out :)

St. Patricks Day

My awesome friend Heidi came over on Monday morning with a little treat for Max - some green hair gel. You can 't see it very well, but look at those emerald spikes closely - these two little guys definitely didn't get pinched that day!

Movie Game

Here's a new one!
"Eh, it's a, a, chipmunk bite"
"I figured, obviously not a normal chipmunk"
"You're right about that. No, this was more like a big oversized bob-cat, grizzly bear chipmunk. I'm pretty fortunate to still be here."
"Wow. What did the doctor say?"
"I didn't need to see a doctor. I had some cream at home that I put on."
"You had chipmunk cream?"
"Yea"
"Wow, that's lucky"
"I'n it"

Movie Game, and My Very Own Joon

Laci got it, it was Benny and Joon! Sometimes, as seen in the following video, Quincy bears a striking resemblence to Joon. This is not an unusual outfit for her to be wearing. Please note the backpack stuffed with toys.

Movie Game - New Hints

Ok, I have to give everyone fair warning - my sister, Laura, now has a google account, so she can make comments on my blog, and I can almost guarantee that she knows every line I post. I did tell her not to spoil the fun though.

So here are a couple hint for this round - the new song on my playlist is the opening song for the movie. Also, these are among the items in the pot of a card game:

"salad shoot-er!"
"medium sized green haired troll"
"soap on a rope, slightly used"
"re-grout my shower, blue grout"

Med-School Wives, Living On The Scraps

Every once in a while, I get the urge to just tell things like they are. To just be honest. To say it like it really is, and let the world judge me. I think it's helpful, I think that everyone feels better about their struggles if they know they're not alone. Then there's the part of me who wonders if she really is alone. And so I say nothing. Well, today I'm going to say something. I'm not going to consider it whining, or airing dirty laundry, or any of that stuff. I'm just going to be honest. Let me know if you can relate - or if you think I'm just a crazy lady on a rant who should shut up. Either way, you're probably right.
I like a good piece of meat - a steak, or a piece of chicken, a pork chop, turkey, or even a piece of fish (but no salmon, please). Meat makes you feel full for a long time. It builds up your blood iron, which gives you strength. It satisfies. You shouldn't live on meat alone, but some meat is good. Meat is good, but it does come with fat and grizzle that has to be removed first - there are parts of it that just aren't so great or nourishing, they don't even taste good. We call those parts scraps, trim them away and throw them out.
Israel had been getting up at like 3am almost every morning this week. He'd been studying alot, and it paid off - he did really well on yesterdays test. After class was done he stayed at the school for a while studying, and then came home to spend the evening with the family - he tries to give Friday night to us, family time. He was tired. When I'm tired I always feel like a loaded trap - be careful not to stumble across me. Anyway, we ran a couple errands, went to our favourite Mexican restaurant, and came home to begin the process of putting the kids to bed. That's when the trouble started. There was no explosion, no yelling, no cussing - but there was also no connecting, no laughing, and no fun. I hate that, and it seems all to familiar. He took no great efforts to hide the fact that helping feed Max, helping dress Quincy, and watching Shrek III for the millionth time was not what he wanted to do. At one point when he was getting on Quincy's case for doing something that was just plain normal for a kid to do, I said "why don't you just go to bed." I meant it too - I really don't love to be around a grump. He didn't go to bed, and the night ended without any special incident - but it wasn't special either. It bothered me all night, especially because these kinds of nights happen much too often. This morning I realized - our family is living on scraps. All the best meat is going to the school - and we're getting the fat and grizzle. We can survive on it for a while, but not forever. I don't know if rotations will be any different, I'm not trying to figure that out right now. These are just the facts.

Movie Game

Good work Natalie - that last one was The Breakup. The first time I saw it I didn't like it - well, I didn't like the ending. After watching it several more times I've changed my mind - still don't like the ending but I do like the show.

Here's the next one:

"You don't like raisins?"
"Not really."
"Why?"
"They used to be fat and juicy, but now they're twisted, they had their lives stolen. Well they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes. I can't say I'm a big supporter of the raisin council."
"Did you see those raisins on TV, the ones that sing and dance and stuff?"
"They scare me."
"Yea, me too."
"It's sick, the commercial people, they make them sing and dance so people will eat them."
"It's a shame about raisins."
"Cannibals"
"Yea, do you like avacodos?"
"They're a fruit you know."

Movie Game - A New Hint

Okay, there have been no guesses on this round of the movie game, and that's fun because now I get to give a new hint. So, this is another line from the same movie as I used in the last movie game post:

"Gary! Gary. You got three lemons."
"What my baby wants my baby gets, you know that."
"Ah, ah...yea but I wanted twelve. Baby wanted twelve."
"Why would you want twelve lemons?"
"Because I"m making a twelve lemon center peice."
"So no one's actually even eating them? They're show lemons?"
"Yea. They're just show lemons. Shown in the center of the table - glad you find that amusing, but I cannot fill a vase with only three lemons."
"Well can't you just use like, maybe a drinking glass?"
"I'm not using a drinking glass!"
"We could have a smaller version of the center piece."
"I'm not using a drinking glass for our center piece."
"You know what, I"ve got an idea. Why don't we go ahead and scratch the center piece idea altogether, because the chicken, that burnt my mouth, could maybe use a little bit of lemon on top of it. Guess what? Now we made a better meal versus something visually nice to look at."

Tricked by a Toddler

As I typed the title I started to wonder - is Quincy still a toddler, or would she now be considered a child? When I hear the word toddler I think of someone who's not very steady on their feet - and she is quiet stable. When do they graduate to childhood?

Anyway, she pulled a fast one on me this morning. We were eating our breakfast, cereal. She was feeding herself while I was feeding me and Max. She got towards the bottom where the cereal thins out in the milk and said:

"Mom, can you help me?"

"No, you're a big girl, and I'm feeding Max, you can do it."

She looked at the bowl for a moment before announcing:

"I'm done!"

"No you're not" I said, as I grabbed the bowl and began scooping together the last of the Cocoa Pebbles to feed to her - that's when I realized, I was just tricked by a toddchild.

A Sigh of Relief

I was just preparing to write a substantial post, when I heard a three year old say "mom, do you want to snuddle with me, huh? Come on, come on. Mom, you're my best friend." Who can keep that waiting? Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know that Max had his MRI today, and everything is fine! He does have a little extra cerebral spinal fluid in his head, but no blood. There seems to be no structural imperfections or problems - so he is just a big headed little kid - which of course means he's going to be a genius. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers - they mean alot to us.

Movie Game

On a lighter note than my last post - it's probably time for another line. I was surprised that Fried Green Tomatoes went so quickly - good work Pattie. Here's one from what I'm watching now:

"Gary! You don't take a pitch pipe out of a guys hand when he's in the middle of a very funky groove! You could get hurt doing something like that."

Max

It's been a long night and I should be asleep right now, but rest won't come - I am sick with worry. It's been a long week. On Tuesday I took Max in for his six month checkup, I had no idea that it would lead to anything out of the ordinary. Max has always been at the top of his growth charts, above the 90th percentile. He's my sturdy little guy. His pediatrician has commented before on the large size of his head, but Quincy has a big head too. On Tuesday she said that she would like him to get a CT scan - his head had jumped way up and was above the 95th percentile now. I tried not to worry that my 6 month old was having to get something like that. I kept telling myelf - and everyone kept telling me too, that I'm sure there's nothing wrong - he acts perfectly normal. Besides - he comes from a family of big heads - in some cases literally, in some cases figuratively, and in some cases both. He got the scan on Wednesday. Yesterday morning, Thursday, I took the kids to story time at the library. By the time I got out I had four phone messages from the doctor. My heart sunk - they don't leave you four messages in one hour just to tell you that everything is ok. When I got the messages I was on my way to Wal-Mart to get something special to cook for Valentines Day dinner - steak and shrimp. I pulled over in the Pancake City parking lot to call the doctor. She told me that there is an area of fluid - probably blood, in the front left
area of his head. She tried to get me to think of any kind of hit he may have taken - I can't recall any. She told me that she had called a neurosurgeon in Columbia and arranged for us to see him today - Friday. I tried to find out what she thought was the problem, what would be the solution, what to expect - she really couldn't say. I tried to get her to tell me that everything would be okay, she couldn't say. I spent the rest of the day feeling numb - you tell yourself that everything is ok, but 6 month old baby's shouldn't be seeing neurosurgeons. I scrapped the sugar cookie valentines we were going to make, and the dinner, and spent the afternoon holding my boy while Quincy watched "Cars." Thanks Melissa for the great meal, and for watching Quincy while we take him to the hospital. I'm lucky to have good friends who are so willing to help. Keep Max in your prayers today. He's the sweetest little guy, and my heart is breaking.

Welcome to The Table, Little Man

Max is officially eating three meals a day with us. Today he had his first lunch, which coincided with his first taste of squash. His reaction says it all.

Fingobanna, Libpotina, and Mike Wazowski

Quincy is quite the character. She's started saying two words, and we have no idea what they mean - fingobanna and libpotina. I thought maybe my brothers had taught her some spanish - but they don't seem to know what she's saying. Has anyone ever heard these words?

Today when she was helping me unload the dishwasher, she grabbed a small glass bowl and put it to her face and said "it's under the name googly bear." That's a line off Monsters Inc., Sully says it while Mike is putting his one giant contact in his eye. I thought it was pretty funny that she thought this bowl was the giant contact.

Which Twilight novel character are you?

You're" Esme Cullen - Your maternal instinct to take care of people and be kind draw people towards you. You're compassionate and loving, yet firm when you need to be. You appreciate hard work and value the beautiful results of your dedication to any project.
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Movie Game

Good Job on winning the last one Nashelle, I love Runaway Bride.

This is my last night at home, well, my Utah home. I'm so sad that my little/long visit is about over. Here's the line from the movie my sisters and I are watching right now - I suspect that this one may be a little harder, because it's from a movie that's a little older. I'll put in the name as a little hint:



"Mrs. Threadgood, you're the reason I get up in the morning!

And, the reason Mary Kay's having such a good year!

And, the reason why I don't look like some......blob, from a horror movie!"





Good Luck!