Behavioral Breakthrough

Yesterday I took Quincy to childrens story time at the library, as I always do. After story time, Quincy headed straight for the game box and grabbed the little tin of dominoes, as she frequently does. She brought them over to the table and began playing - things were going well. Then a little girl spotted the dominoes, and came over to take a closer look. I began to feel tense. I saw her watching with interest, inching closer and closer. My palms got sweaty. Eventually she took a seat at the table, and began talking about the little rectangles. My heart started pouding. I began to visualize what was about to happen. The little girl would make a big deal of trying to get some dominoes, and Quincy would make a bigger deal of not sharing the dominoes - a deal involving calling names, scowls, and general bad behavior. I knew how it would play out. We've been working on sharing skills for a long time now, but as with any child, it's been a hard concept to grasp. I dread these kinds of situations, because I am never quite sure how to handle them, and I always end up feeling like I did a bad job. Usually I force Quincy to share, kicking and screaming the whole time, and then think to myself - 'I was just nicer and fairer to this other kid, what about my own kid?' What to do....Quincy did have the dominoes first, and she was playing nicely by herself. As I was frantically trying to compose a battle plan in my mind, Quincy grabbed a handful of the dominoes and said "Here mom, hand these to her." I nearly fell out of my little toddler-sized chair. In a total state of shock I passed over the dominoes. When the girl asked for a few more, Quincy kindly obliged. Wow. I'm still bursting with pride for her.

As I haved started along this path of motherhood, I have been struck by the little "nobody told me" moments. Nobody told me that I would cry the day Quincy outgrew her "coming home" outfit. Nobody told me how much I'd miss the 'just the two of us' closeness I had with her, once another baby came along. Nobody told me (or more likely I didn't believe them) how hard it is to teach about sharing. Nobody told me what a happy day it would be when I would realized that the concept was finally grasped.

I know there will probably be more sharing fights, on days when she's just not in the mood - but for now, I'm just so happy to know that she'll do it sometimes. Way to go Q!