Med-School Wives, Living On The Scraps

Every once in a while, I get the urge to just tell things like they are. To just be honest. To say it like it really is, and let the world judge me. I think it's helpful, I think that everyone feels better about their struggles if they know they're not alone. Then there's the part of me who wonders if she really is alone. And so I say nothing. Well, today I'm going to say something. I'm not going to consider it whining, or airing dirty laundry, or any of that stuff. I'm just going to be honest. Let me know if you can relate - or if you think I'm just a crazy lady on a rant who should shut up. Either way, you're probably right.
I like a good piece of meat - a steak, or a piece of chicken, a pork chop, turkey, or even a piece of fish (but no salmon, please). Meat makes you feel full for a long time. It builds up your blood iron, which gives you strength. It satisfies. You shouldn't live on meat alone, but some meat is good. Meat is good, but it does come with fat and grizzle that has to be removed first - there are parts of it that just aren't so great or nourishing, they don't even taste good. We call those parts scraps, trim them away and throw them out.
Israel had been getting up at like 3am almost every morning this week. He'd been studying alot, and it paid off - he did really well on yesterdays test. After class was done he stayed at the school for a while studying, and then came home to spend the evening with the family - he tries to give Friday night to us, family time. He was tired. When I'm tired I always feel like a loaded trap - be careful not to stumble across me. Anyway, we ran a couple errands, went to our favourite Mexican restaurant, and came home to begin the process of putting the kids to bed. That's when the trouble started. There was no explosion, no yelling, no cussing - but there was also no connecting, no laughing, and no fun. I hate that, and it seems all to familiar. He took no great efforts to hide the fact that helping feed Max, helping dress Quincy, and watching Shrek III for the millionth time was not what he wanted to do. At one point when he was getting on Quincy's case for doing something that was just plain normal for a kid to do, I said "why don't you just go to bed." I meant it too - I really don't love to be around a grump. He didn't go to bed, and the night ended without any special incident - but it wasn't special either. It bothered me all night, especially because these kinds of nights happen much too often. This morning I realized - our family is living on scraps. All the best meat is going to the school - and we're getting the fat and grizzle. We can survive on it for a while, but not forever. I don't know if rotations will be any different, I'm not trying to figure that out right now. These are just the facts.